My parents said that I was born singing. My Mom would tell me the story of how they would put me in the bath tub and I loved to sing. She wouldn't even have to sit in there with me because she could here me bellowing music all the way in the kitchen. She said once it stopped it was time to check on Maria.
There are so are so many great memories of music in the Pape family. It all started out with Grandma Pape being in a band with my Grandpa. Grandma sang and Grandpa played the fiddle. They even had one of the family members playing the jug. It seemed like every event someone was getting up and singing and.... THE HARMONY!! It was absolutely magical! I would sit there and listen to my Pa and his brothers and sisters singing songs from their childhood. It took no effort to make it blend!
Mom and Dad signed me up for Piano at an early age. I was never very good at it and I now know why. I enjoyed making up my own songs and experimenting on the piano and singing much more than reading the music. As talented as my Pa is; he can not read a note. It was all done by ear. True honest to God talent! I am now much better at piano (now that I teach the basics to children) and also by taking piano in college where they really kick your butt and you have no choice not to read.
Back when I was about 5 or 6 years old, I used to go out into the garage and sing my heart out. Little did I know that Mom and Dad were tape recording me and then surprise me at dinner time with "Dinner music" I was so embarrassed! I thought no one was listening because I was in my own little world and no one realized that in my head I was the lead singer in my own band.
So lets face it. Growing up I had the coolest Dad around with his 70's band Trinity and 80's band Crossroads. I was always so proud of him. That was MY DAD rockin it out. People dancing to his music and wanting more! He would invite his buddies on stage to join the jam. Tom Troestler with his harmonica was just outstanding. I would get to go along with him and end up falling asleep on a bar stool. If I was lucky he would invite me up on stage to sing with him! That was everything to me.
Not only did I get to go listen to music but as I started getting older I would get asked to sing in weddings with him. This is something I will never forget. We would harmonize together just like he would with his brothers and sisters.
There is nothing like being brought up with a variety of music in the house. Phil and I would get our daily list of chores and jam or chill out to Blondie, Peter Frampton, Elvis, Roy Orbison, the Ink Spots, Buddy Holly, Billy Joel and the list goes on and on... Mom and Dad taught Phil and I to appreciate music and really listen to the details of a song. To this day Phil and I listen to a song and it takes us right back.
You should hear my cousins sing and play there instruments. I have many cousins that are in bands, music teachers, or use their talent to sing in a local choir. I even had my talented cousin Ellen sing Ave Maria at our wedding . That reminds me that I need to go pop that in and listen to that! It was breathtaking!
To this day I enjoy getting together with my family and listening to the music magic. At my Grandma's 100th birthday I had the opportunity to sing with my Dad, brothers and sisters my cousins and they amazing talented 2nd cousins from Butler. The Pulvermacher Von-trap family singers. ;)
Thank you God for giving our family the blessing of music. It has brought our family close together in so many ways. The memories are thick! To this day I hope to pass on the love of music that was instilled in me to all the children in my life, because after all....it's the language of the world.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
You wouldn't understand... part 2
So D and I are married. I hit a rough patch after we got married (again that's another blog at another time) but life was good we were happy and we really wanted kids.
At this time of my life I was working at a Preschool/Daycare in Waunakee WI. I loved it there! The staff were fun and really taught me how to be the best I could be as a Preschool teacher. But, there was one day that I will never forget that really bothered me. I was having a problem with one of my little girls in my class. She was disruptive and being very bossy to her friends. I called in the parents for a meeting to see if we could talk about what was going on with her behavior. After explaining to the Father about what was going on he looked at me at said "Ms. Maria, you wouldn't understand...you are not a parent" My insides were crushed. Little did he know that D and I were trying to have kids and not having any success. The Father also did not realize who he was talking to. If you know me, you know how sensitive I can be. I loved his little girl very much and I spent Mon through Fri with her 8 hours a day. I thought is this what people think? I don't know how to be a good teacher because I don't have children of my own? I have had so many people say...You get to send the kids home after a long day but little do they know how much I would love to tuck in my own little one at night.
As time years went on I started to realize that there was something wrong. Every time I took a pregnancy test I would sit and wait that 10 min or so and dream of what my child would look like. What would I name he/she? How would I decorate their nursery? How would I make the announcement to my family. I was just giddy! I would go and check the test....negative again! and again and again. Then found out that I have endometriosis which was probably the main reason of not having success.
I was just a mess inside. Why? I wasn't angry with God but I question...why can't I have a child? What did I do or what are you trying to teach me? Are you angry with me? Don't you think I would be a good Mom? So many questions.
It always seems that when you are struggling with something like this you start hearing stories of people who have children but really didn't want them or poor parenting in the news or going on right in front of my face. This made me so angry and sad! And on top of it many of my closest girlfriends were starting a family and having thoughts and dreams of their baby to be. Oh, my heart just hurt. I couldn't even watch a commercial of a baby without tears and at times sobbing.
I finally had to realize that I had to stop feeling sorry for myself and turn my thinking around. I had to start counting my blessings. I had all these beautiful children around me that really needed me. When their Mom and Dad couldn't be with them this was our time (D and I) to put in all of our love, compassion and teaching skills at a 100%. Take each one of them and hug them and let them know that we are always here for them.
I then started to understand...now I know what I was put on this earth for. Even though I am not their birth Mother and can nurture them like a Mother day in and day out. These kids mean more to Derek and I then you will ever know. They are all of our children!
Why did I write this blog? One thing is I want NO ONE feeling sorry for me. My life is amazing! I have an amazing family, friends that I will NEVER let go, loving pets, a Mom and Dad that adore me and above all I get a best friend as my husband whom I love more than life itself. I wrote this to tell others that if you are in the same boat as we are and are sad; you can turn it around and start making your life positive. Get out there and be with people who make you happy. Be a big sister or volunteer and make your heart alive again.
Don't get me wrong...I will always have the craving of being a Mama. This will never go away. I think about it a lot! But just finding different ways in life to be a Mama.
Thanks for reading
At this time of my life I was working at a Preschool/Daycare in Waunakee WI. I loved it there! The staff were fun and really taught me how to be the best I could be as a Preschool teacher. But, there was one day that I will never forget that really bothered me. I was having a problem with one of my little girls in my class. She was disruptive and being very bossy to her friends. I called in the parents for a meeting to see if we could talk about what was going on with her behavior. After explaining to the Father about what was going on he looked at me at said "Ms. Maria, you wouldn't understand...you are not a parent" My insides were crushed. Little did he know that D and I were trying to have kids and not having any success. The Father also did not realize who he was talking to. If you know me, you know how sensitive I can be. I loved his little girl very much and I spent Mon through Fri with her 8 hours a day. I thought is this what people think? I don't know how to be a good teacher because I don't have children of my own? I have had so many people say...You get to send the kids home after a long day but little do they know how much I would love to tuck in my own little one at night.
As time years went on I started to realize that there was something wrong. Every time I took a pregnancy test I would sit and wait that 10 min or so and dream of what my child would look like. What would I name he/she? How would I decorate their nursery? How would I make the announcement to my family. I was just giddy! I would go and check the test....negative again! and again and again. Then found out that I have endometriosis which was probably the main reason of not having success.
I was just a mess inside. Why? I wasn't angry with God but I question...why can't I have a child? What did I do or what are you trying to teach me? Are you angry with me? Don't you think I would be a good Mom? So many questions.
It always seems that when you are struggling with something like this you start hearing stories of people who have children but really didn't want them or poor parenting in the news or going on right in front of my face. This made me so angry and sad! And on top of it many of my closest girlfriends were starting a family and having thoughts and dreams of their baby to be. Oh, my heart just hurt. I couldn't even watch a commercial of a baby without tears and at times sobbing.
I finally had to realize that I had to stop feeling sorry for myself and turn my thinking around. I had to start counting my blessings. I had all these beautiful children around me that really needed me. When their Mom and Dad couldn't be with them this was our time (D and I) to put in all of our love, compassion and teaching skills at a 100%. Take each one of them and hug them and let them know that we are always here for them.
I then started to understand...now I know what I was put on this earth for. Even though I am not their birth Mother and can nurture them like a Mother day in and day out. These kids mean more to Derek and I then you will ever know. They are all of our children!
Why did I write this blog? One thing is I want NO ONE feeling sorry for me. My life is amazing! I have an amazing family, friends that I will NEVER let go, loving pets, a Mom and Dad that adore me and above all I get a best friend as my husband whom I love more than life itself. I wrote this to tell others that if you are in the same boat as we are and are sad; you can turn it around and start making your life positive. Get out there and be with people who make you happy. Be a big sister or volunteer and make your heart alive again.
Don't get me wrong...I will always have the craving of being a Mama. This will never go away. I think about it a lot! But just finding different ways in life to be a Mama.
Thanks for reading
You wouldn't understand...
As I told some of my close friends not all of my blogs are going to be easy to write. Some of them are going to be therapeutic and difficult. This one in particular may bring me some different emotions but that's OK. I can handle it.
When I was little I always knew that I was going to be a Mom. No question about it. I was a born nurturer. I had family and babies all around me. Cousins galore. So there was no doubt...I was born to be a Mama.
I always felt comfortable around children. I loved their spirit and honesty. To be honest I would prefer to hang around kids instead of adults because they love you no matter what. They love the attention and I love giving it.
I met the love of my life when I was 20 years old. I knew in all my heart that he was the man for me. I will be blogging about him at a later time. But when I met Derek I knew in my heart that he would be such a wonderful Father. I think that is what makes us women tick. Watching out guy and how he is with animals, children and how he treats his Mama.
So here we are Oct. 17 1998. Standing up there in front of all my family and God becoming Mrs. Derek Thompson. I remember the priest saying..."Will you except children from God" and I looked at D with a little giggle and smile and said a BIG yes! I couldn't wait! I was more than excited to start a family!
to be continued....
When I was little I always knew that I was going to be a Mom. No question about it. I was a born nurturer. I had family and babies all around me. Cousins galore. So there was no doubt...I was born to be a Mama.
I always felt comfortable around children. I loved their spirit and honesty. To be honest I would prefer to hang around kids instead of adults because they love you no matter what. They love the attention and I love giving it.
I met the love of my life when I was 20 years old. I knew in all my heart that he was the man for me. I will be blogging about him at a later time. But when I met Derek I knew in my heart that he would be such a wonderful Father. I think that is what makes us women tick. Watching out guy and how he is with animals, children and how he treats his Mama.
So here we are Oct. 17 1998. Standing up there in front of all my family and God becoming Mrs. Derek Thompson. I remember the priest saying..."Will you except children from God" and I looked at D with a little giggle and smile and said a BIG yes! I couldn't wait! I was more than excited to start a family!
to be continued....
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Pick Any Age...
Yep, last year in the 30's. Do you remember when you were little and your parents were turning 40? Is that what my Preschool kids think of me? All I could think was how old they were! We talk about age all the time. When someone passes away...How old were they? When a child uses the potty for the first time or reading...How old are they? Hearing people say...Act your age! You get my drift.
I like getting older. I think there is a power in it. I have become more confident with my choices. I find trying to give good advice to the younger crowd. I also can say "no" a little bit easier every year. In the past I never said "no" and it led to problems getting overloaded in life. But one thing I don't like it watching my parents getting older. It's just something I worry about and want them to feel good physically and mentally.
There are days I feel really young. I think working with children does that to a person. I tend to know the trends and changes in language. Also keeping up with the latest technology. I also am very comfortable hanging out with the younger crowd.
But there are days that I feel old! When I have preschool kids that are driving or graduating, waking up so stiff that I can hardly move, or dying that gray hair.
I believe be the age you want to be. Enjoy every age. Embrace it. Celebrate it. Don't let any birthday pass without letting people spoil you. I personally never want to grow up completely. I always want to relate to ages 2 to 102.
I like getting older. I think there is a power in it. I have become more confident with my choices. I find trying to give good advice to the younger crowd. I also can say "no" a little bit easier every year. In the past I never said "no" and it led to problems getting overloaded in life. But one thing I don't like it watching my parents getting older. It's just something I worry about and want them to feel good physically and mentally.
There are days I feel really young. I think working with children does that to a person. I tend to know the trends and changes in language. Also keeping up with the latest technology. I also am very comfortable hanging out with the younger crowd.
But there are days that I feel old! When I have preschool kids that are driving or graduating, waking up so stiff that I can hardly move, or dying that gray hair.
I believe be the age you want to be. Enjoy every age. Embrace it. Celebrate it. Don't let any birthday pass without letting people spoil you. I personally never want to grow up completely. I always want to relate to ages 2 to 102.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
I cant imagine...
These days I can't get my mind off my Grandma Pape. She is battling health issues right now and it worries me. Every day is precious with her. As some of you know she recently turned 100. Can you imagine? 100 years old? It just blows me away.
Grandma Pape has been a BIG part of my life. When I was little I was always at her house. We would play cards, watch the Brewers, go to mass, shop at the grocery store, and eat ice cream with fresh strawberries on top. One thing that I loved about going to Grandma's is that she always welcomed us with a warm hugs, a nibble on my ear and candy of course. I think that is where my amazing figure started. :) I remember going over to her house and her giving me the freedom to go to the St. Al's park all by myself with my Grandpa's bike. I thought I was pretty cool that I could ride that bike with no hands
Grandma taught our family about faith. She is a very proud Catholic. Sometimes I did not agree with her reasoning on religion but I now realize that she was brought up this way and there was no other way to think. To some people church is boring but I always liked it. I liked the fact that the family was all together and that when we would walk into mass Grandpa and Grandma would be sitting there with a big smile We would sit by them and I would feel so proud. I felt proud that I knew all the same prayers as my Grandma and Grandpa. I am so glad that I have faith in my life. It has got me through some pretty tough times. I just don't know how I would have got through with out prayer.
Christmas Eve was a blast. This is probably the best memory that I have at Grandma and Grandpa's. Cousins, food, laughter, parents having cocktails, playing cards, staying up until midnight and then going home waiting for Santa Claus. When I get together with my cousins these memories always seem to surface. I adored this time of my life.
Grandma Pape to me a very brave, strong, determined woman that will always have a place in my heart. I look forward to seeing her and appreciate every moment with her. I want to express how important it is to get to know your Grandparents. I miss Grandpa Pape very much and I appreciate how he came to me in my dreams for about a year after he passed. He must have known that I was not ready to let go.
I will forever be grateful for the love and support of my Grandma and Grandpa Pape. I will carry their love forever!
Grandma Pape has been a BIG part of my life. When I was little I was always at her house. We would play cards, watch the Brewers, go to mass, shop at the grocery store, and eat ice cream with fresh strawberries on top. One thing that I loved about going to Grandma's is that she always welcomed us with a warm hugs, a nibble on my ear and candy of course. I think that is where my amazing figure started. :) I remember going over to her house and her giving me the freedom to go to the St. Al's park all by myself with my Grandpa's bike. I thought I was pretty cool that I could ride that bike with no hands
Grandma taught our family about faith. She is a very proud Catholic. Sometimes I did not agree with her reasoning on religion but I now realize that she was brought up this way and there was no other way to think. To some people church is boring but I always liked it. I liked the fact that the family was all together and that when we would walk into mass Grandpa and Grandma would be sitting there with a big smile We would sit by them and I would feel so proud. I felt proud that I knew all the same prayers as my Grandma and Grandpa. I am so glad that I have faith in my life. It has got me through some pretty tough times. I just don't know how I would have got through with out prayer.
Christmas Eve was a blast. This is probably the best memory that I have at Grandma and Grandpa's. Cousins, food, laughter, parents having cocktails, playing cards, staying up until midnight and then going home waiting for Santa Claus. When I get together with my cousins these memories always seem to surface. I adored this time of my life.
Grandma Pape to me a very brave, strong, determined woman that will always have a place in my heart. I look forward to seeing her and appreciate every moment with her. I want to express how important it is to get to know your Grandparents. I miss Grandpa Pape very much and I appreciate how he came to me in my dreams for about a year after he passed. He must have known that I was not ready to let go.
I will forever be grateful for the love and support of my Grandma and Grandpa Pape. I will carry their love forever!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
I have never...
I have made a personal goal for myself and for the rest of my life...
I want to keep positive and alive. I also want to keep people around me that love me for who I am. I am not going to let anyone get me down and wreck my spirit.
I have never been one to hold back or keep quiet about things that I am passionate about. I have been inspired by friends to start blogging. Why blog? I think it can be very healthy to let things out. Sharing stories with one of my favorite things to do. I love having the gift of gab (as I have been told).
I don't know how often I will blog but when I do I hope that you get a chance to read and respond if you would like.
So sit back and enjoy the ride...
I want to keep positive and alive. I also want to keep people around me that love me for who I am. I am not going to let anyone get me down and wreck my spirit.
I have never been one to hold back or keep quiet about things that I am passionate about. I have been inspired by friends to start blogging. Why blog? I think it can be very healthy to let things out. Sharing stories with one of my favorite things to do. I love having the gift of gab (as I have been told).
I don't know how often I will blog but when I do I hope that you get a chance to read and respond if you would like.
So sit back and enjoy the ride...
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